Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Strange Dilemma

This blog is totally embarrassing in light of my total ignorance of LGBT culture, and my poaching of that old roommate's obsessions. I have the irrational fear that someday in the hopefully distant future, she will stumble across it and have a laugh at my expense. This fear is irrational for the following reasons:

A) I don't advertise my presence,
B) Her having a laugh at my expense assumes she is interested enough to read a couple posts. (I am not that interesting.)
C) Her having a laugh at my expense also assumes she remembers anything about me other than my occasional buttheadedness. (My personality traits are negative.)

It occurs to me I am writing here when I should be doing homework. This is finals week. Saturday is the deadline. I have close to 10 hours of DVDs to watch, about 500 pages to read, and 7 assignments to write by Saturday. I will probably skim the material and grind through the assignments as fast as possible. The fact remains: it is an idiotic amount of work, especially in light of the fact of my full time employment and 90 minutes of commute per day. It is the height of lunacy for me not to be hammering out assignments this moment, and yet here I sit tapping away at this blog I haven't updated in 2 months.

I could at least be catching up on emails. I have many awaiting me which I intend to answer. I could also be writing music. I have pages full of lyrics, chord progressions lifted from Franck and Irving Berlin. I even a slew of covers that fit my voice nicely. I could arrange those.

Instead I waste time here and read HuffPo. Woe is me. I implore sympathy for my self-sabotage. Even my irony is ironic. Ignore the stupidity of me. I am posing at posing. A half hearted copy of a half hearted copy repeated ad nauseum. If you haven't rolled your eyes and browsed elsewhere, you will be annoyed by the time you reach this sentence.